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" Before I contacted TDAS, I was not sure if what I had suffered was domestic abuse. "

What is domestic abuse?

If you, or someone you know, is being forced to do anything against their will, abused, threatened, physically or sexually assaulted by a partner, former partner or a family member, that is domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is about power and control; it can also include emotional, psychological and financial abuse.


The following things may also be happening to you:-
  • being physically or sexually abused
  • being afraid of a current or former partner or family member, or to express your true opinions in front of them
  • having belongings destroyed
  • being prevented from seeing family or friends
  • being threatened that your pets will be harmed or killed
  • living with jealous and possessive behaviour and feeling isolated
  • being humiliated or verbally abused
  • being financially abused; having money taken from you or not given enough to live on.

Why do people stay in an abusive relationship?

Domestic abuse is controlling behaviour and it is used to exert and maintain power. People stay in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons which can include:
  • love or terror
  • fear of further abuse
  • fear of becoming homeless
  • fear of losing children
  • being threatened that your pets will be harmed or killed
  • dependency upon the abusive person for money
  • a home
  • personal care.
Domestic abuse is not always constant. There is usually:
  • a cycle where tension builds up
  • an abusive incident followed by a honeymoon period where the abuser promises it will never happen again.
WHATEVER THE REASONS FOR STAYING, THE FACT STILL REMAINS THAT: ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR HAPPENS BECAUSE OF THE ABUSIVE PERSON'S PROBLEMS, NOT BECAUSE OF ANYTHING THE PERSON EXPERIENCING THE ABUSE DOES OR SAYS.
Some things to remember...
  • The abuse you are experiencing is not your fault
  • Ask for help. There is a way out. There are people around to help you
  • Domestic abuse does affect children living in your home
  • You deserve a life without abuse
  • There is a safe and secure place for you and your children to go to
  • There is support available for men.