Female Victims of Domestic Abuse
Domestic abuse is a gendered crime which is deeply rooted in the societal inequality between women and men. It takes place 'because she is a woman and happens disproportionately to women' (United Nations (UN) Declaration on the elimination of violence against women 1993).
Domestic abuse affects 1 in 4 women in their lifetime - you are not alone.
Domestic abuse takes place within an intimate relationship - it is a pattern of bullying and controlling behaviour. Domestic abuse can affect women in heterosexual or same-sex relationships. It can also take place between family members.
Statistics show that 97% of reported incidences of domestic abuse are perpetrated by men against women. However, in a number of cases, women are the perpetrators of abuse. Female perpetrators are not any less guilty for their actions.
The controlling behaviour you might experience includes being told what to wear, who to see, the abuser being very possessive and jealous. Having your self-confidence and self-esteem undermined continually. Violence, or the threat of violence, may be used by the controller to get their own way.
Once a perpetrator has started to abuse it is likely to happen again. Abuse is rarely an isolated, one-off incident. If you are forced to alter your behaviour because you are frightened of your partner, or a family member's reactions, it is likely that you are being abused.
Perpetrators often say they are sorry after incidences of abuse, they may make promises and say they will never do it again. Often women who have left home return to abusive partners because of these promises. There may be a period where the perpetrator appears to be non-abusive by being attentive, charming and helpful. However, most abusers will abuse again, and this phase of being nice soon changes back into the old pattern of controlling behaviour.
People experiencing domestic violence are not to blame. The abuser is 100% responsible for their behaviour. Violence and abuse is a choice the abuser makes.
On average, domestic abuse leads to two women being murdered each week.
IF YOU THINK YOU ARE EXPERIENCING DOMESTIC ABUSE YOU SHOULD CONTACT
TDAS TO TALK TO A DOMESTIC ABUSE ADVISOR. CALL 0161 872 7368
Our Domestic Abuse Advisors will listen to you without judging you and look at ways of helping you - offering you information, advice and support.
Confidentiality
Confidentiality is a really important part of our service. The address of our refuge is confidential; this keeps residents safe and enables us to keep delivering our services. The content of support sessions is confidential to the service as a whole, with some exceptions. The exceptions being: if someone discloses to us that a child or young person is at risk of serious harm or that they intend to harm themselves or another person, or if there is criminal activity involved. We may need to share this information with other professionals. We will always try to gain consent to share this information, as we only share if we feel that not doing so will cause further harm.
If we cannot gain consent we may decide to break confidentiality. This is not an easy decision, and is not something we ever do lightly. Trust is a very important part of our work and our confidentiality policy will be explained to everyone we work with.